Favorite ISH of 2016

Three weeks into the new year and 2016 already feels like a distant memory of an entirely different world. This probably has more to do with the latest events in “good God, what the fuck, this is real life now?!” history, rather than the quickening passage of time. But nevertheless, the longer I wait to make my annual list of bullshit, the less likely I am to even remember or care as we get further away. So without further ado, here are some things I enjoyed consuming last year, as well fifteen of my most successful (self designated, obvs) photos from my personal work.

FILMS

Truth be told, I barely saw any of the end of the year contenders after suffering from some major year end burnout. I’ll get around to Jackie, Silence, Elle, and LaLa Land someday probably, but no point in holding things up any further.

1. Green Room - For the pure visceral experience a movie can provide, nothing really did it better for me this year. Add in the timely subject matter of fighting for your life against psycho white supremacists, and I think this may be a new resounding call to arms for our increasingly turbulent times.
2. The Lobster - Like a fantastic George Saunders story brought to life. Dark, hilarious, and completely on point. Longer than necessary perhaps, but I loved it.
3. Arrival - There has yet to be a year when Denis Villeneuve directs a film that it hasn’t landed on my list. Last year was no different. Bring on Blade Runner 2049.
4. The Neon Demon - Fully formed “cult” movies, straight out of the womb, are a rarity. So thank God for Nicolas Winding Refn and his crazy compulsion to appease his own artistic desires, and flip the bird to anyone who’s not on board. Critics and audiences be damned! Keep that crazy train rollin’
5. The Handmaiden - Great, twisting, lush filmmaking. Typically over-long like most S. Korean films, but still worth it. Plus, I swear its got a very specific reference to the scene in Predator when Schwarz and Weathers grasp hands ("Dillon, you son of a bitch") and flex biceps, except in this scenario its during a ridiculous sex scene and makes me laugh just thinking about it. 
6. Tickled - My favorite doc from last year. What starts as a look into the world of competitive tickling competitions, turns into a crazy rabbit hole as the filmmakers try to get to the bottom of a fully engrossing mystery. Don’t read any more about it. So much better to go in blind. Hat tip to using Shane Carruth’s fantastic score from Upstream Color too.
7. Hell or High Water - Solid modern western. Watching the spineless banker at the end try and wiggle out of the climactic final moments was oh so satisfying.
8. Moonlight - Lotta hype around this one, and it certainly was deserved on many fronts. But as with any product of the hype machine, it might end up hurting it in the end. And thats a shame, cause it really is a strong little film.
9. Hunt for the Wilderpeople - Just a goddamn fun time hanging with some Kiwis doing their crazy Kiwi things. And its got a whole lotta heart that really hit me unexpectedly.
10. Louder Than Bombs - Even when he’s good, Jesse Eisenberg can be so hard to take. In any event, he’s just a part of an ensemble here. The bummer of a plot description is about a father and his sons dealing with their grief after the matriarch of the family dies. But its a much broader film than that logline would have you believe. Fantastically edited, and a truly novelistic film.
11. Sing Street - I didn’t see La La Land partially because I can’t stand musicals, but I made an exception for this cause it was on Netflix, and I’m glad I did. More of a love letter to 80s music and just an all around good time.
12. American Honey - If you can stand Shia Labeouf and largely plotless movies with plenty of improvised dialogue that run nearly 3 hours, I got your next favorite movie right here. That all sounds like an insult, but I really did enjoy this. Beautifully shot, and appears to balance right on the line between documentary and fiction.
13. Childhood of a Leader - This has one of the most abrasive scores for a film I have ever heard (by Scott Walker), and I really dug it for its hutzpah in that department. Add in some great cinematography and a pretty timely subject matter, and I will for sure be keeping an eye on what Brady Corbet directs next.
14. Voyage of Time (Ultra-Widescreen, Non-Narration Version) - Feel pretty grateful I got to see this for the week it was screening, as a 40 minute Terrance Malick “documentary” about the evolution of the universe with NO poetic musings or narration is unquestionably the best way to see a Terrance Malick film. Complete visual storytelling with heavy shades of 2001: A Space Odyssey and his own Tree of Life.
15. 10 Cloverfield Lane - Why anyone was the least bit surprised by the ending of this, when it has fucking “Cloverfield” right there in the title is beyond me. But that issue aside, still a good time with a terrific John Goodman performance.

DOCUMENTARY FILMS

Though I did have one or two documentaries in the main list, they get their own section here too cause there are always a handful of standouts that deserve mention.

1. OJ: Made in America - Excellent long-form filmmaking with a subject that just kept revealing deeper and deeper layers.

2. Sky Ladder: The Art of Cai Guo-Qiang - A broad yet still focused profile on the prolific artist as he tries to make his dream art project (the aforementioned Sky Ladder) a reality after two decades of failed attempts. Inspiring to say the least.

3. Weiner - What a fuckin shit show the filmmakers were lucky enough to have access to. A mesmerizing train wreck.

Best of 2015

2015 turned out to be a pretty solid year for film. Plenty of good movies, a few great, but not sure if any will truly be classics 10 years from now. If anything stands up to that title, I'd say Mad Max probably has the greatest chances. Not because its a modern day Godfather by any means, but for the memorability factor, I expect it will age the best. Other than that, I'd say its a bit of a crapshoot if anything else will. Time will tell. I'm sure I'll feel different in six months anyhow. Of course, I didn't manage to see many movies this year that have gotten acclaim, but of the ones I did see, these are the handful I enjoyed the most.

Films

1. The Hateful Eight - I did not expect to enjoy this as much as I did, which is possibly why I ended up liking it so much. Certainly not in contention for my favorite Tarantino film, but it’s got a whole lot going for it, most exquisitely being the glorious 70mm film. If he just would’ve left out god damn Tatum, could've been close to perfect.

2. Mad Max - Fury Road - Pound for pound the most entertaining and easily recommendable movie from last year. A masterful example of big budget entertainment, and what should be Exhibit A for all studios on how to craft an original* and exciting spectacle.

*I know its a sequel, shut up

3. Sicario - Director Denis Villenueve once again proves that he is a force to be reckoned with. Every year he has released a movie, it has made it on my year end list. Potentially the most consistently great director working today.

4. It Follows - Disregarding the hype, hyperbole, and subsequent backlash, this little horror diddy has tons of style to spare. Unnerving as hell and consistently original, more modern horror films should look this great.

5. Wild Tales - Six shorts that all deal with revenge in a fairly dark but comedic way. This came out of left field and I couldn't have been happier not knowing much going in.

6. The Revenant - I was probably looking forward to this more than any other film this winter, which is never a good way to go into a movie. Luckily, it still turned out pretty fuckin beautiful and awe-inspiring, especially knowing what went into the production. A little heavy on the Malick-ish influences, but hard to get away from that when you share the same fantastic cinematographer.

7. What We Do in the Shadows - No American comedy even came close to approaching the quality of this New Zealand gem.

8. A Pigeon Sat on a Branch Reflecting on Existence - My requisite outlier art film that will likely only appeal to 2% of anyone reading this. But if you like immaculately staged/produced, ultra-dry Swedish humor that seems like a Far Side panel come to life if it were written by Friedrich Nietzsche, this might be up your alley!

9. Son of Saul - Its a Holocaust drama, no two ways about it. But it is a pretty masterfully made Holocaust drama.

10. End of the Tour - If you got a low tolerance for Jesse Eisenberg, best to steer clear of this one. But Jason Segel is fantastic here as revered writer David Foster Wallace and convinced me to give Infinite Jest another shot.

11. Inside Out - When Pixar hits it right and isn't cashing in on sequels, their creativity knows no bounds. Not quite on the level of The Incredibles or Wall-E, but certainly ranks in their top 5 productions.

12. Victoria - A 2 hour and 20 minute single take thriller has gimmick written all over it. But god damn if they didn't pull off something miraculous here. It’s like if the Before Sunrise films met Miss Bala and got in bed with The Russian Ark. I wish it were 90 minutes, but I understand why letting the story breathe to make the relationship more natural makes sense.

13. The Big Short - I won't lie, I'm still confused as hell regarding the 2008 financial collapse. But this helped slightly and was entertainingly constructed at least.

14. Spotlight - Never showy or overly sensational to play up the drama, just a straight forward, by the numbers look at cracking a giant story. Mark Ruffalo also looks like he's 12 in this and it’s pretty funny.

15. Beasts of No Nation/Ex Machina - Both of these films depressed me in equal measures, but in different ways. Beasts cause it is a savage story that is just naturally depressing. Ex Machina because it is a good movie that should've been great.

Documentaries

1. The Russian Woodpecker - If you're into conspiracy theories, this one's a doozy. And even if you're not, still a well crafted and engaging doc.

2. Cartel Land - Incredible access and footage to the ongoing cartel wars in Mexico and on the border. Crazy stuff.

3. Call Me Lucky - This starts out in one place, as a fairly traditional look at an old school abrasive comedian, and takes a hard left turn into something completely different. Fair warning, this gets extraordinarily heavy, but is still important and illuminating in many regards.

4. Meru - Mountain climbing docs seem to be fairly common these days, and usually trace the same kind of story. I won't say this one reinvents the wheel, but it proves to be a very well made wheel. The footage in this one is at least aided by fantastic photographer Jimmy Chin, who also happens to be a crazy expert climber who made this ascent.

5. Everybody Street - As someone who aspires to be a street photographer of note someday, this overview of the scene in New York is incredibly inspiring. Some giants of the genre give great insight here.

6. Going Clear - Pretty "talking head" heavy, but unquestionably still fascinating when diving into the murky depths of Scientology.

TV

TV has clearly matured into the coolest kid in class on the media landscape. And with good reason, as there is an embarrassment of riches to be had on TV these days! And with the surplus of great shows out there, it’s proving even harder to keep up with the on-going titles and new releases that seem to be premiering every other week. But it’s not a bad problem to have. I won't wax poetic on each title listed here, but I will note how crazy it was to see Fargo become phenomenal after a very good first season, and True Detective totally screw the pooch and blow the goodwill it earned after its historic first season. Also, The Jinx was incredible to experience live as the real shit was going down. Would be surprised to ever see that happen again with a serialized documentary series.

1. Fargo
2. The Jinx
3. The Knick
4. Rick and Morty
5. Mr Robot
6. Veep
7. Last Week Tonight
8. Documentary Now!
9. Portlandia
10. Game of Thrones
11. Also a good time: Better Call Saul, The Leftovers, Mad Men, Master of None, Louie, Wet Hot American Summer, Making A Murderer, Parts Unknown

Favorite Films/TV/Books of 2013!

Its that time of year again! Or more accurately, three weeks past that time of year. No excuses for this, I just decided to double down on my procrastination skills at the beginning of the year and have kept with the resolution. Quite the strong year for film and TV. Did my best to see as much as I could, but of course there were some gaps. Nebraska just kept alluding me. But if you're one of the few who actually put some stock in my opinions on these frivolous matters, really hope you get something out of this. Putting it together, I definitely noticed this was probably my most bloated year for recommendations. 40 films in total! Ridiculous! This is also the first year I've decided to premiere my brand new Wavelength Rating (patent pending) system! And what, pray tell, is a Wavelength Rating? Well, I'm self-aware enough at this point to know that some of the films that resonate with me most are, in a word, fuckinweird. So I've developed this handy Wavelength Rating to try and help.

It breaks down like this - a basic 1 through 10 scale applies, with a 1 rating being your broad crowd pleasing surefire hits, and 10 being the niche-est of niche films that require one to be specifically tuned in to the wavelength the film and director are presenting. And I don't mean to use these ratings to try and dissuade anyone from viewing some of the higher rated films, but more just to give an awareness of what to expect. The other great thing about the wavelengths, is that its quite possible to tune in to the higher rated films with the aid of special herbal supplements that are specifically designed for enhanced consciousness. So I hope you all enjoy and don't have to take too many bathroom breaks to make it through! Happy viewing!

Film

15. Before Midnight -  Wavelength - 4

Being a big fan of Linklater’s previous “Before Sunset” and “Before Sunrise”, I was more than a little excited to see where the next installment would take the star-crossed lovers. So when the harsh realities of this couple’s relationship come into focus near the midway point of the film, it can be a bit jarring, and frankly pretty sad. But I respected the choice not to sugar coat the story and instead show how difficult it can be to maintain a steady marriage or relationship in the face of so much history. And luckily it’s not all knockout-screaming matches, as a good portion of the film is filled with the free flowing conversations I have come to love from these films. Taking the setting to the beautiful Grecian coast doesn’t hurt either. So if another 10 years from now brings “Before Afternoon Tea”, I’ll happily take a fourth plunge into the oncoming dementia years.

14. Magic Magic/Crystal Fairy -  Wavelength - 7 and 6

This one is a bit of a cheat, cause its obviously two very different films, but I decided to put them together cause they are from the same Chilean director and both star Michael Cera. The story is, they were filming Magic Magic, lost funding half way through the shoot, decided to make Crystal Fairy over a few weeks time while they were waiting for funding to come back, then resumed filming on Magic Magic after finishing Crystal Fairy. Not essential information to enjoy either of these films, but whatever. They both are fairly small movies, but have their charms. Magic Magic is the more difficult of the two; as it is a methodical sloooooow burn psychological thriller that gives a great perspective on mental illness, with some beautiful cinematography to boot from the always stellar Christopher Doyle. Cera is also creep-tastic in it. Crystal Fairy seems slight comparatively, but I found it to have a good deal of heart by the end as you watch two characters who are initially SO off-putting, truly change and become much more multi-dimensional than the caricatures you expect them to remain. And anyone who has spent enough time in certain hippy or new age scenes (or California in general) will immediately recognize these archetypes. Spot on!  

Crystal Fairy is on Netflix Streaming

13. The Great Beauty - Wavelength - 7

A beautifully filmed meditation on life, told from the perspective of a wealthy socialite as he contemplates his existence while hobnobbing with the Roman upper crust. There are plenty of parallels to be made here with the same vapid and superficial “elite” circuits that plague Los Angeles (and New York I’m guessing), but the film still remains firmly grounded in a specific outlook and lifestyle that is uniquely Italian. Much has already been written about the film being clearly influenced and indebted to Fellini’s La Dolce Vita and 8 ½, whether for good or bad. But I didn’t find that to be a distraction in the least. More of just place markers for those few of us who maybe went to film school for a worthless degree but are at least now able to point out the film history landmarks scattered about the new homages that come out every so often. I’m sure you know at least ONE of those assholes… Anyhow, I had a good time! Some sequences were extremely affecting, while others not so much, but all in all well worth it for those who like a good homage to the classics. 

12. Only God Forgives - Wavelength - 9

God damn do I love Nicolas Winding Refn. The balls on this guy! After making the coolest movie in the past 5 years with Drive, and cementing Ryan Goslings status as the most badass autistic guy to beat, he comes out with this INCREDIBLY difficult and off-putting film. He is practically DARING you to like this movie! It’s as if he said to himself, “I just gained a large new audience with my most commercial movie yet, how can I alienate nearly all of them? I know! I’ll take most of the aspects that people found annoying and aggravating about Drive, and amplify them by 100%!” Think Gosling was weird and near silent in Drive, just wait till you see him in this. He maybe has five lines! Think there was too much gratuitous violence? Well now we’re sticking ice pics in eyes and ears! That plot move a little quickly after the failed pawn shop robbery? Well now you’re going to get full songs sung entirely in Thai at a karaoke bar right in the middle of the fucking movie. So how come I still think highly of it? Cause who the fuck else could make this?!? It boggles the mind. And also, it looks fucking spectacular! This is retina-burning imagery. I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say the HIGH majority of people could just watch the trailer, and get more out of that 2 minute slice than watching the entire film. For the other adventurous 10%, get ready to dial into the wavelength and dive into the deep end.

On Netflix Streaming

11. The Place Beyond the Pines - Wavelength - 5

I’m not sure why this hasn’t gotten more praise on the end of the year list scene. Maybe it was the story structure (3 distinct chapters), maybe it was too low key, or maybe it was Gosling Fatigue, but I still found a lot to love about this generation-spanning epic. Most of which is in the first Gosling-centric chapter as he tries to make right with his baby mama but succumbs to robbing banks on a dirtbike. It may not knock you over with scenery chewing acting or kinetic editing, but the assured direction and storytelling abilities of Derek Cianfrance build to a healthy payoff.

10. Stoker - Wavelength - 6

Released way back in March to little fanfare, this hypnotically shot thriller from South Korean badass Chan Wook Park deserves much more attention. I wasn’t initially too excited for a coming of age story with dark undertones and a crazy looking Nicole Kidman, but as soon as the first reel rolled, I was hooked. Park has always had an amazing eye, and that aspect greatly serves to bolster the weaker points of the script, and elevate a decent story to a great movie. It probably will have a semi-limited audience, but for those with patience and who like their family dramas on the darker edge, this may be one of their new favorites.

9. Inside Llewyn Davis - Wavelength - 6

This was a tough one for me. My initial impressions of this new Coen Bros saga were fairly lukewarm. While I thought every technical and actor based aspect of the film was top notch, the story left me wanting more. And maybe its because I always expect greatness from the Coen Bros, and my anticipation was of course very high, but it felt a bit obvious and just “non-essential Coen Bros”. But as I gave it a little time, I continued to think about it more and more and couldn’t get it out of my head. Especially when considering what the final few minutes truly meant, my appreciation began to grow. Now knowing what to expect, I anticipate my second viewing will be much more rewarding. So I think putting it in a solid 9th spot will be more than likely where I’ll end up with my feelings on it, even if I’m not quite there yet.

8. The Wolf of Wall Street - Wavelength – 5

Never put it past a master filmmaker to pull out some surprises near the twilight of their career.  A three-hour, debauchery soaked, hilariously scathing indictment of the wall street scene is not what one expects from a 71 year old director, yet no one else could have pulled this feat off as Scorsese so effortlessly does here. Could’ve probably chopped off a good 30 minutes and still had a fantastic film, but if it would’ve come at the expense of losing some of the already classic sequences (specifically, that 15 minute Quaalude free for all) then I’ll happily take the overlong version. If there is any justice in this world, Jonah Hill will get his Best Supporting Actor Oscar for this one.

7. Her - Wavelength - 5

While some have (prematurely) put this on the level of Eternal Sunshine, which I think may be a little generous; this certainly is the best modern sci-fi tinged love story since that masterpiece.  Like an episode of the similarly future-tech focused Black Mirror, but with the cynical worldview swapped out for an incredibly hopeful and moving love story. Anyone familiar with Jonze’s career should expect no less at this point, but he still never ceases to amaze with each film. And god damned Joaquin Phoenix continues to prove that he will happily take over the torch of America’s best actor once Daniel Day Lewis decides to go full time on that shoe cobbling business. I’m also glad we can finally put the argument to bed of if computers can cum. SPOILER – indeed they can!

6. Prisoners - Wavelength - 4

Following up the amazing (and shattering) Incendies of two years ago, Denis Villeneuve was near the top of my radar of directors to watch. So when it was announced he was making an intense serial killer drama with top tier cinematographer Roger Deakins, I was well past half cocked. Probably tri-quarter cocked at least. And luckily they pulled off a fantastically bleak and absorbing thriller that didn’t pander to the LCD. While a few red herrings could’ve been smoothed over with a tighter script, I still loved the risks it took. And both Gyllenhaal and Jackman turned in incredibly intense performances that have been sadly over-looked this award season. This will surely grow a dedicated following, similar to how Zodiac did a few years back.

5. This Is The End - Wavelength - 4

Easily the funniest film of the year, and definitely my favorite of this past summer. I had high expectations coming from these guys, and this was probably one of three movies this year that actually exceeded my expectations. For the first 20 minutes, I was having such a good time that I completely forgot there was even an apocalypse on the horizon. And once that noise kicks in, shit went next level. I am in love with the carnage and balls out craziness on display. Of course it hit the usual Rogen/Goldberg sweetspot of male on male friendship/love, but that’s always resonated with me so no harm there. A truly worthy follow up to modern classics Superbad and Pineapple Express.

4. R100 - Wavelength - 10

Good Lord do I love this movie. I honestly could probably put this in my number one slot and still sleep easy at night. I can’t help smiling just thinking about it! It is absolutely NUTS and unlike any film you will ever see. No hyperbole here, just straight fucked up truth. I have never heard so many people audibly say “What the fuck?!” during a movie in my life. And this would happen every 5 minutes! I don’t even know where to begin to try and explain what is actually going on in this, but suffice it to say it is exceedingly smart and self aware and brilliant on all levels. No matter how batshit crazy you may think it is, writer/director Hitoshi Matsumoto knows exactly what he is doing and climaxes the film with a sequence so astounding that it gave me chills. Not to mention a smile from ear to ear (a reference to the film that has much more meaning once you’ve seen it). I will just say this, the name of the movie is in reference to how the rating board works in Japan. Similar to how we have PG, PG-13, R, etc, they rate films with PG-12, R15+, R18+. This film is R100. So many people will hate this movie, it just makes me love it that much more. Should get a proper U.S. release later this year.

3. Blue Ruin - Wavelength - 5

One of the benefits of taking so long to get this list done is that I can present the newly released trailer for this fantastic little slice of sloppy American revenge, cause nothing I can say will do it the justice it deserves. A supremely confident and beautifully filmed genre exercise that completely elevates the pulpy material that typically makes up a revenge film. Fantastic, brutally violent practical effects mixed with a darkly hilarious edge have kept me thinking about this film for the past 3 months and I will absolutely throw down my hard earned cash twice over once it gets a proper theatrical release in April. And if you ever wondered what happened to Buzz from Home Alone, he shows up here as a gun nut!

2. Gravity in IMAX 3D - Wavelength - 2

Without question, the best theater experience of the year for me. And if you’ll notice, I absolutely make the distinction that the film that is my second favorite of the year is Gravity in IMAX 3D. There is no other way to see this movie. I mean, of course there is, but it will not be anywhere near the same experience. And “experience” really is the key word here, cause anything less than Imax 3D for this film could only be a fraction as amazing. An achievement on every level. All hail Alfonso Cuaron.

1. Upstream Color - Wavelength - 8

This is by far the hardest review to write of all the films, cause this is obviously the one that meant the most to me this year. And for some reason, I just feel protective of it and want to shelter it from the cold harsh world, where it would be extremely easy for one to misjudge this as pretentious arthouse hogwash. And that will surely be the opinions of some and I can't change that, but God damn I'll do my darndest to try.

There is really no easy spot to start and try and explain what this small scale but HUGELY ambitious film is about. And honestly, I do plan to write a MUCH larger critique and breakdown in the future, so I'll just keep it brief for now. There are a million things going on here, but the main "plot", one could say, is a love story. A supremely complicated love story mind you, involving some nasty psychotropic parasites, but a love story none-the-less. Its also a story about enlightenment, religion, pre-ordained nature, the cyclical nature of life, and happy little piglets. Frankly, once you start down this rabbit hole, the possibility of interpretations of what the meaning of the film is, is endless. Hence why its my number one pick, and why I absolutely love this fucking thing! This is the five course meal to your typical Hollywood happy meal. This is what made me want to create art and film. This is director/writer/cinematographer/editor/actor/financer/distributor Shane Carruth's heart, mind, and soul exposed for all to see. And this is also why the film is actually important! When one man can produce an authentic vision of this level of brilliance, and do it without any studio backing or distribution, it is fucking groundbreaking. He is a GIANT inspiration for me, and what true filmmakers should aspire to be.

I will be honest, it took three viewings for me to finally unlock the secrets of this film. The first viewing will still be amazing, due to the hypnotic imagery and storytelling ability of Carruth as he gives you the first outline of the puzzle. The second viewing will fill in the middle pieces. The third viewing, and this is where those herbal supplements come in handy, is what provides the connective tissue to finally pull the pieces together and give the full story. So don't be put off if it all doesn't click on first viewing! Let it sink in, ruminate on it. Carruth is not interested in holding your hand, but he absolutely provides the integral pieces if you give the time to figure it out. And that may be asking too much for some, and I don't blame them. But for those who like their cinema to be thought provoking and cerebral, this is the new hotness. Hope it resonates with some of you!

On Netflix Streaming

 

Of Worthy Note

Sightseers - On Netflix Streaming

The World's End

Frances Ha - On Netflix Streaming

American Hustle

Prince Avalanche - On Netflix Streaming

Its A Disaster - On Netflix Streaming

The Conspiracy

 

Left Overs - Films from last year that I missed

The Intouchables - On Netflix Streaming

If I would’ve seen this when it came out in 2012, it would’ve placed QUITE highly on that years list. This one is a hard sell based on the horrible title, the horrible cover art, and the “French” nature of the story involving a quadriplegic man and his caretaker. But I can’t remember the last time I finished watching a film that left me in such a state of pure happiness. Its uplifting in the best sense, and not just manipulated saccharine bullshit like The Blindside or whatever. Did I mention its also hilarious?! I don’t how they did it, but I laughed more at this film than 90% of the comedies that came out last year. And this Omar Sy dude is just 100% undiluted charisma! If they could figure out some way to extract his charisma in liquid form, then inject it into Channing Tatum’s Down’s-y face, maybe that dude would finally be tolerable in any of his increasingly stupefying roles.

Dredd - On Netflix Streaming

I don’t know how I missed this one when it was originally released in September 2012, but I’ve since caught up and LOVE it! Its brutally graphic and bloody, fantastically filmed with a number of astonishing slo-mo sequences, and I can image was a freakin trip in 3D. But even without the 3D (which is bullshit 99% of the time anyway), the film looks amazing on Blu-ray or Netflix Streaming. It doesn’t reinvent the wheel, and sticks pretty true to its pulpy comic book origins, but it pulls it off in such an entertaining way I couldn’t get enough. This also may just be a film for dudes, as Mandy hated it and had no patience for the ridiculous theatrics and Batman-voice, but maybe not. In any case, I happily signed the petition to make a sequel to this, since it frankly did shit business in theaters. Fingers crossed!

 

Documentary

I think most are probably tired of my drawn out opinions by this point, so I’m just going to list out my favorite docs this year and let the trailers do the heavy lifting. Lots of good Netflix stuff available, fill those queues up!

15. Beauty is Embarrassing - On Netflix Streaming

14. A Band Called Death - On Netflix Streaming

13. The Institute

12. Dirty Wars - On Netflix Streaming

11. Jodorowskys Dune

10. Kumare - On Netflix Streaming

9. Sound City

8. Chasing Ice - On Netflix Streaming

7. The Source Family

6. The Square - On Netflix Streaming

5. Oxyana

4. Stories We Tell

3. Blackfish - On Netflix Streaming

2. The Act of Killing - On Netflix Streaming

1. We Steal Secrets: The Story of Wikileaks - On Netflix Streaming

 

TV

Once again, plenty of great shows this year. Usual standouts where of course Breaking Bad (best show ever? best show ever), Portlandia, Boardwalk Empire, Game of Thrones, and to a much lesser extent cause its so god damn infuriating at times, The Walking Dead. A few new great shows premiered as well, with two standouts from Netflix with both House of Cards and Orange is the New Black. I’m also a big fan of Vice News on HBO, and Orphan Black on BBC America certainly has its charms. But above all else, I HAVE to once again shine a light on Black Mirror.

This past January (shit, guess that was a year ago already) they played the second series of three new episodes. And just like the previous three, they were all self-contained brain bombs. The second episode entitled “White Bear”, without a trace of hyperbole here, is one of my favorite episodes of television of all time. In a mere 42 minutes, the world they were able to create, the story they were able to tell, and the absolute panic and horror they were able to portray is astounding! It’s also probably the best “horror movie” I saw last year. I was easily as transfixed with this episode as any of my favorite episodes of Breaking Bad. And yes, the stakes are completely different and I was WAY more emotionally involved with the story in BB, but the fact remains that they knocked it out of the park. I’ve decided to add links to the episode down below just cause I love it that much, even though there is absolutely NO CHANCE it will live up to the hype I just created above. Just lower your expectations and try and enjoy it. Below that episode, I also included the first episode of the season, which was also fantastic and definitely has some shades of Her, but in a much more somber and depressing way. Make sure to watch through the credits on White Bear!

White Bear - http://www.watchseries-online.eu/embed.php?l=Bci9BFFUHNISXE4WQf4ntlTS_94xLiHJZp1gKoIdp4R2CYZMkh5N_r3oDHo_N0YcZ0-RhDFe2MV-JDfyLBda9A&title=Black+Mirror++S02E02+White+Bear

Be Right Back - http://videobam.com/UjCRs

Music

As seems to be the trend as you get older, I didn’t listen to much new music this year. My earbuds are typically too full of podcasts these days unfortunately. I did like the new Arcade Fire though, and thought a great single album could be culled from the really good double album. But one other album I will highlight is Run the Jewels by Killer Mike and El-P. This is an amazing record with nary a dumb filler skit or fucking basketball horn to be heard. Just 10 straight tracks of tasty beats and killer rhymes. And to top it all off, its legitimately free to download from their website! Just click ‘get it now’! –  http://foolsgoldrecs.com/runthejewels/

Or listen to the entire thing on youtube first -

 

Books

Read a handful of good stuff this year, but I’m choosing to only highlight one author, cause I haven’t had a lit-boner like this since high school when I first read Survivor.

I don’t know where the hell I’ve been that I hadn’t heard of George Saunders till this year, but I now see how truly lacking my life has been till this point. But having not read any of his work also allowed me to consume every short story book he has in about a month’s time, and it was a glorious 30 days. Technically, he only released Tenth of December this year, but I also sped through CivilWarLand in Bad Decline, Pastoralia, and In Persuasion Nation, all of which I highly recommend.

Short story collections have never been my thing, so I was more than surprised that I couldn’t get enough of Saunders work. Maybe I just needed to hear the right voice to really have them impact me like a typical novel, and Saunders brings it in spades. His dark, satiric take on American culture is laser accurate and surprisingly hilarious given some of the content. He certainly won’t be for everybody, as evidenced by the suburbanite mother book clubs who read Tenth of December after it gained a bunch of attention for being a National Book Award finalist this past year. On Amazon the reviews are pretty split between 1 star and 5 star, which is just what a provocative piece of art should do. And Saunders is definitely not the type of writer looking for unanimous praise from the general public. So give him a shot if he sounds like your cup of tea! I’d start with either Pastoralia or CivilWarLand in Bad Decline.

FAVORITE FILMS OF 2012! And MORE!

These were supposed to be announced during the live broadcast of the Oscar nominations, but there was some snafu in accounting and my interns are all ON NOTICE! In any event, I hope you all can take something from this list. I truly do do it because I love recommending movies to my friends. Obviously, this is MY list of favorite films from the year, so I really don't expect everyone to like all of these. Hell, I'd be surprised if someone liked half of the list. But if you find out about even one title that you previously were unaware of, and end up loving it, then I've done my duty. It should also be noted that this isn't a comprehensive list of all the good movies from 2012. There were plenty of others that were great fun, but I gotta stop somewhere.

MOVIES:

1. The Master – Many valid criticisms have, and will continue to be leveled at this film, and I can probably agree with most of them on a certain level. But no other film EVER, let alone just this year, has made me feel like I am REQUIRED to watch it a second time to even partially digest it. And I mean that as the most sincere compliment. If you haven’t seen this, and are on the fence about it, I’m gonna go out on a limb and say DON’T WATCH IT. And why would I recommend you not watch my favorite film of the year? Cause anyone who is on the fence about watching a new P.T. Anderson film shot in gorgeous 70mm, instead of chomping at the fuckin' bit, is probably not part of the intended audience. That sounds elitist, I know, and I’m sure there are some exceptions, but this is not a film to be casually enjoyed. It wants to make you work for it. And frankly, most people don’t want to work for their entertainment. Which is completely understandable, and I don’t blame them! But there are a million other movies that can better fill that slot than this hypnotic fever-dream of a film experience. My love for it only grows as more time passes. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJ1O1vb9AUU
2. The Cabin in the Woods - Most fun I had at any movie this year. Even if you don't like the genre, I would still say give it a shot. I can't remember the last time a sequence in a movie had me uncontrollably smiling ear to ear like the "Purge" scene. All horror films will now be regarded as Pre or Post Cabin. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Itzujv4JwU
3. Killing Them Softly - Unfairly dismissed for God knows why (probably cause it was marketed as a typical mobster movie when its anything but), this is neck and neck with the Master as best shot movie of the year. Andrew Dominik directed the shit out of this movie on all levels (even sound design?! even sound design) and I ate it up. Is it a bit on the unsubtle side when it comes to the political allegories? Absolutely. But it just gives more to chew on! So as long as you adjust your expectations for a slower "mobster" movie that’s rife with subtext, this might hit the spot. Or you may hate it, who knows. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tDyaNnrgdp4
4. Indie Game: The Movie - I was originally just going to put all the best documentaries in their own category, but this was just too good to be sidelined. The best "pure" documentary I saw this year, that came completely out of left field to choke me up like nothing has since Edward Scissorhands. I highly recommend this to anyone with a creative drive or for anyone who wants to better understand what makes an "artist" sacrifice everything for their passion. On Netflix Instant. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dINgx0y4GqM
5. The Raid - Leave it to an Indonesian production that cost less than the protein shake budget of The Expendables to show America how to make an action movie. "Simple" would be a generous word to describe the plot, but who cares when the bloody carnage is this entertaining. I gladly welcome the sequel, which I'm sure will be a lot of the same. Which is perfect! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMmFN4k04JI
6. Zero Dark Thirty – Homeland could take a cue from this absorbing and seemingly very honest retelling of one woman’s personal hunt for Bin Laden. No bullshit melodramatics to be seen here. Just honest characters and spot-on story telling. Two and a half hours flew by. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cAtWcvCxPhc
7. Antiviral – Speculative-fiction with a mean dash of social satire that hit all the right body-horror notes for me. Being David Cronenberg’s son, director Brandon Cronenberg had quite the heritage to live up to. But the proof is in the genetically modified human pudding here, and I will certainly be keeping an eye out for what he has brewing next. (Should be in theaters in the U.S. soon) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XIZb50HiBCo
8. Kill List – This is a tough one. Many will find this slow, then disturbing, confounding, disgusting, and ultimately revolting. I loved it. It’s stuck with me since February, burrowing into my brain and keeping me up at night. I’ve read for hours about different theories of what is actually going on by the end of the film, and I’m still mulling it over. All I can say is, it is a nightmare, and fucking intense. Not for the squeamish. Oh, and use subtitles, helps immensely.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aqkqF--v1tg  
9. Seven Psychopaths – A violent meta-comedy on screenwriting starring Sam Rockwell?! This shit was practically tailor-made for me. Doesn’t stop it from being pretty god damned weird and unconventional though. Not that I’m trying to warn anyone away from it, just a heads up. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tygJCY9vX-s
10. Looper – Best Sci-Fi outing of the year, AND one of the most purely entertaining films. Thank God for Rian Johnson for bringing at least a modicum of intelligence to a big studio feature, and for having a child actor who I didn’t want to throttle for their horrible precociousness. Plus, said child was responsible for the best (Akira-indebted) kill-scene this year. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2iQuhsmtfHw
11. Samsara – Next to The Master, the second best example of why FILM is still king in my book. This is a film that begs to be experienced on the big screen, but will easily become your favorite new Bluray (came out last Tuesday!) to show off that fancy high def TV of yours. HIGH-ly (horrible) recommend herbal remedies to compliment the transcendent imagery. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qp967YAAdNk
12. Snabba Cash - I'm always a sucker for Scandinavian crime dramas, and Snabba Cash (aka Easy Money) easily ranks right up there with the Pusher trilogy and Headhunters. Might be hard to find, but should be on DVD eventually, and is definitely worth seeking out. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=guuiDfwulc4
13. Bullhead – A methodically paced, but fully engrossing character study set in the illegal bovine-hormone market of Belgium. I know most of you are rushing out to buy this right this minute, just based off the description. But if you need more convincing, I will say that actor Matthias Schoenaerts (also great in Rust & Bone) knocks this out of the park, with a Deniro/Raging Bull level of acting. Just Google his headshot compared to how he looks in this. On Netflix Instant. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7fTx89BTIVg
14. Holy Motors - If you thought The Master was hard to decipher, you probably won't make it 5 minutes into this. Without a doubt the weirdest title to make the list, and as of 3 weeks ago, probably wouldn't have made the list at all. But something about this giant fuck you to conventional cinema worms its way into your head and demands respect. Be prepared for gremlin boners. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NWu9WjEcdbk
15. Chronicle – I think we’re all pretty sick of the found footage gimmick by this point, but the format was perfect in this case. I really wasn’t expecting to like this movie as much as I did, but what can I say? I’ve always had daydreams of gaining super powers! And not the powers of a fucking spider. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i-M5Qx57_UU
16. Rust and Bone – Jacques Audiard had a monumental task in following up the modern classic that is A Prophet, so my expectations were a little on the high side. But he still came through with this unconventional “love story” between a whale trainer and a vagabond street fighter. Beautifully filmed and expertly acted by Marion Cotillard and Matthias Schoenaerts. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jg7skcyYolU
17. The Imposter – One of those perfect examples of “truth is stranger than fiction”. The story would literally be unbelievable in any other context if this weren’t a documentary. It’s always a sign of a good story when as soon as it ends, all you want to do is research what happened next. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2LuFOX0Sy_o
18. Django Unchained – Gonna be honest, I felt like this was Tarantino’s slightest and most one-note film to date (not including Death Proof, cause that was just kind of a shitty after thought). That being said, there’s still plenty fun to be had. If it were 30 minutes shorter, probably would’ve hopped 5 spots. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B5sks1-EGfw
19. Sleep Tight – Creep City, population: this dude. That sounds a little too much like I’m talking about myself, but whatever. Super effective and suspenseful little diddy from one of the directors of REC. I will forever be suspicious of all doormen now. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xEgzNNn0XUo
20. Spring Breakers – For James Franco’s insane performance alone, this makes it on the list. But it helps that it’s wrapped in Harmony Korine’s typically twisted sensibility. The truest representation of what Florida is really like. I’m guessing, of course, cause no self-respecting Californian has any need to step foot in Florida. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IO0RPZcHDe4

Other Great Docs:

Resurrect Dead: The Mystery of the Toynbee Tiles - Got me hook line and sinker. A fascinating mystery. On Netflix Instant http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VIWpJ5Jl4fE

Room 237 - Uncovering the mysteries and conspiracy theories that lie within Kubrick's The Shining. Look for it later this year. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sJr7TEVvjqw

Last Days Here - Wanna watch a heroin junkie from the 70’s metal band Pentagram try and get his shit together? Sure you do! On Netflix Instant. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RwaYcp2uYLU

Jiro Dreams of Sushi - I'm not a big sushi fan, but this is still a great film on many levels. On Netflix Instant. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hbV6knbeUFE

Ai Weiwei: Never Sorry - Ai Weiwei is just a big ol badass artist with balls of steel. Big inspiration. On Netflix Instant. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0MYFOzP6Xns

The Queen of Versailles - A riches to rags story that alternately makes you feel glad to see the 1% suffer, but still manages to make you empathize for them by the end... to an extent. On Netflix Instant. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdJYzgJ4CwI

Urbanized – A great end to Gary Hustwit’s trilogy of design films. Plus, more great El Ten Eleven songs. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6jpN8kI0-pY

*Project Nim - This is more of an addendum to last years list, as it came out in 2011, and had I seen it then, it definitely would've placed highly. Loved it so much, I stole the disc from Netflix! Great double feature with last years Planet of the Apes too. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e_vha0FI0j8

TV:

Breaking Bad - Without contest, the best show of any year. 

Adventure Time - Pound for pound, the most jubilantly fun show ever. 

Black Mirror - Only 3 self contained episodes, that play like cautionary Twilight Zone episodes for future tech set.  

Louie - The greatest comedian of our generation makes a TV show, why would you not watch that? Oh, you don't like the occasional dramatic episode? I don't like you, shut up. 

Portlandia - Fred Armisen just kills me. 

The Amazing Race - I'm addicted to this show. Makes my Sunday night. 

Total Black Out/Killer Karaoke - These two shows may be the perfect example that we as a society are heading toward a Running Man/Idiocracy future, but God do they make me laugh.  

BOOKS:

Steal Like an Artist - HIGHLY recommend this book to any and all of my creative friends. Super inspirational and motivating. 

John Dies At The End/This Book Is Full of Spiders - J.D.A.T.E. came out a while ago, but I read it this year, and its sequel (T.B.I.F.O.S) came out last October, so I'm putting them both on. Where John was a great crazy intro to the world of paranormal slackers Dave and John, Spiders just turns that shit to 11. I can't even begin to explain what they are about, but I love them.   

Saga - Oh, you’re too cool/mature for comics? Fuck you, this series is fantastic. Will it surpass Vaughn’s previous series Y The Last Man as my favorite comic? Time will tell.

COMEDY:

John Mulaney - New In Town

Hannibal Buress - Animal Furnace

Kyle Kinane - Whiskey Icarus

Supersized Favorites List: 2011!

MOVIES:

1. Drive - Been touting director Nicolas Winding Refn for years as one of the best filmmakers working today, and glad he finally is getting his long deserved international recognition. I loved every minute of this. Undoubtedly the coolest movie in probably the last 5 years, best soundtrack of the year easily, and second best score. As an added bonus, pretending Gosling has autism adds a whole other fun layer of rewatchability. Rating- A+

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CWX34ShfcsE

2. Headhunters - Not yet released in the U.S., but will surely make waves as soon as it does. This slick little slice of depravity is just too much god damn fun. Watch the trailer to get a feeling of whats to come, but get ready to watch a life spin out of control in the most entertaining way. Rating - A

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a9XNwq2uGnE

3. Into Eternity - Almost thought this was going to take the top spot earlier in the year. Turns the documentary format on its head as it serves as a literal warning to the future. It will surely bore some to tears, but I fell head over heals for the existential ponderings this doc served up. The director comes off a bit douchey at times, but he's European so he can get away with it. If Kubrick ever made a doc, it may have looked something like this. DVD should be available in the U.S. soon. *ASC recommended. Rating - A

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qoyKe-HxmFk

4. Redline - This may be the toughest sell on the list, and listen guys, I completely agree with your trepidation. In no way can I consider myself an Anime fan, beyond the occasional Akira screening, BUT this shit will blow your mind. It took 7 years to animate and they went balls out. Frankly, you could/should just watch the opening 15 and last 25 minutes and get everything you need, cause the middle section is where it drags to typical Anime conventions. But those book-ended 40 minutes combine to make one hell of a race movie. And whatever you do, don't wake up Funky Boy. The Blu-ray comes out January 17, give it a spin. *ASC recommended. Rating - A-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2t26m_Q6ENo

5. I Saw The Devil - Nobody is killing it in the revenge genre like the South Koreans. Be forewarned, this is one gnarly little movie, and certain squeamish types should probably steer clear. But for those who like their visceral bloody action served straight up with a splash of dark comedy, this should do the trick. Definitely features one of the most evil and unrepentant villian's in film history. Netflix Instant Watch available. Rating - A-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ufRbY89YdlM

6. Moneyball - Single handily responsible for giving me the tools to win my fantasy football league this year. I don't know how they managed to make this such an enjoyable film for someone who watches MAYBE 10 minutes of baseball a year, but they pulled it off. This Sorkin character may be a pretty decent writer after all! Rating - A-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4QPVo0UIzc

7. Miss Bala - Mexico's entry for the Best Foreign Film Oscar this year, and with damn good reason! Follows what has to be the worst week ever in a young woman's life as she unwittingly gets sucked into the drug war in Tijuana. Full of masterfully composed and choreographed sequences, all in single long takes. The nightclub scene in particular will wrack your nerves. Rating - A-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g357MHuj8WE

8. The Art of Flight - Some may say, "Its just a snowboard film." To which, I would retort, "And the grand canyon is just a hole in the ground." And then I would cringe cause that's pretty hokey. This is the Godfather of snowboarding films. Every frame of this could hang in a gallery. Blind-buy this on Blu-Ray, it doesn't disappoint. Just be careful not to taint the experience by watching special features that feature the guys talking. Whatever it is that gives them mammoth balls to bomb down mountains is intrinsically linked to what makes them sound dumber than a gaggle of housewives who just read The Secret. *ASC recommended. Rating - A-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kh29_SERH0Y&ob=av3e

9. Incendies - Another hard sell on the list, but fully worth while if you take the plunge. In short, its about two twin siblings trying to track down their father and long lost brother in Lebanon after their mother dies. Riveting, I know. But the opening scene, set brilliantly to Radiohead's "You and Whose Army", will without a doubt draw you in. And what you'll get if you stick through it, is an ending that will knock you flat on your ass. You'll put the pieces together before it slams you over the head with a cinder block, and all the while you'll really hope you're wrong, because it's that devastating once you figure it out. This one will stick with you. Rating - A- 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TqueRPdENFM

10. Hanna - Come for the pint-size killing machine, stay for the fantastic Chemical Brothers score (best of the year) and art-house action. Keep your eyes open for the fantastic tracking shot parking garage fight. It's a doozy. Ending has a shaky landing, but mostly sticks it. Rating - B+

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ugireeCoYyU

11. Melancholia - Undoubtedly a bit over the top and pompous, but still a great examination of depression and the all consuming nature it can take. Just thinking about the final scene/shot still sends shivers down my spine. Rating - B+

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3_1X37SJcn4

12. Deliver Us From Evil - One review I read called it "Michael Haneke by way of the Coen Brothers." And I can't think of a better way to put it. That probably won't mean anything to most of you, but for those who are followers of either of those filmmakers, you should seek this out. Script builds perfectly to a crescendo of bigoted violence and revenge. The English trailer I found doesn't do it enough justice though. Rating - B+

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AUs5m6qxVZA&feature=fvsr

13. Take Shelter - By this point, if you're not watching everything Michael Shannon is in, you need to take a long look at your priorities in life. A small scale pre-apocalypse movie that houses some of the most tense scenes of the year, and an ending that fully satisfied my darker desires. Rating - B+

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I5U4TtYpKIc

14. Oslo, August 31 - The trailer keeps this one pretty ambiguous, but it's mainly about a man who intends to kill himself after one last day in Oslo. So, yeah, it's a bit depressing. But not nearly as much as you'd think. It's a slow burn too, so I'm sure that also won't help convince anyone. But writer/director Joachim Trier (of the CRIMINALLY underrated Reprise) still manages to infuse enough hope and light into the proceedings that the film floats by in a dreamlike state. Rating - B+

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gz2g0F9yl5o

15. In a Better World - Every film Suzanne Bier makes, makes me want to pack my bags and move to Denmark. I just can't get enough of them. Even when they're filled with the atrocities of man, such as this. Melodrama at its finest, that's about all I will say. And that the first time kid actors in this are easily on the level of any Juillliard trained assholes I've seen. Rating - B+

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ava0Rn8nrVs

16. Rise of the Planet of the Apes - Yeah, Franco makes the least convincing scientist this side of Denise Richards in that shitty Bond movie (or Tara fucking Reid in Alone in the Dark- HILARIOUS), BUT those damn dirty apes floored me! I'm on their side, fuck the human race! And give Andy Serkis and those wizards at WETA all the CG awards this year! Plus, Frieda Pinto. All I should have to say. Rating - B+

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EbCoDf44oCE

17. Senna - If any documentary was going to make a Formula 1 fan out of me, it would be this one. I still don't see myself watching any races anytime soon, but I think I at least get what the hype is about. And I REALLY get why people loved this racer. Guy's a badass! Pretty uplifting for having an ending you already know. Rating - B+

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jDbyILj7o-w

18. Source Code - Admittedly, I wasn't expecting too much from this, despite my fondness for Duncan Jones' previous effort (MOON). But I was fully on board once this picked up steam. Still not sure if the "science" behind the timelines checks out, but I'll give it the benefit of the doubt. If this would've ended just 5 minutes earlier, I would probably be rating it even higher. And if Jeffrey Wright wasn't hamming it up as much as the lead scientist. Rating - B+

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DiBVUulE_wo&ob=av3e

19. Super 8 - A very good movie with some GREAT moments that is ultimately too schmaltzy by the ending. But a fun ride none the less, and it actually has child actors who you don't want to throttle for being so damn precocious! Rating - B+

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tCRQQCKS7go

20. The Secrets in their Eyes - A ripping good yarn! Not sure what that means, but I believe it applies to this Oscar winning mystery thriller. Contains one of the most awe-inspiring (digitally enhanced) tracking shots since Children of Men. Rating - B+

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZhEuUDO0YUQ

*Altered States of Consciousness

HONORABLE MENTION:

Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol

Phase 7

Beginners

Attack the Block

Stake Land

Dragonslayer

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo

WORST MOVIE:

Sucker Punch - Good lord, what an abortion of a movie. Shoulda caught this 14-year-old's wet dream before the 3 month mark so it couldve been blended and flushed before unleashed upon the masses. And Jon Hamm was in it! Jon f'n Hamm! Should be ashamed of himself... nah he's still dreamyyyyyyImeancool. 

EXEMPT MOVIE:

Tree of Life - Yeah, this is kind of a bitch move on my part, but I didn't feel like delving into what I really thought of this movie and where it should be placed. It has top notch cinematography, performances, EVERYTHING, and I'm sure I'll revisit it sometime, but for now it is going to sit in the unclassifiable category. I still recommend you see it though. 

FAVORITE ARTICLE: PLEASE do yourself a favor and copy/paste this link into your browser, cause it's the funniest/creepiest story I read this year. It involves a shut-in roommate, a shit-ton of Chinese food, and a level of loneliness that I can't even imagine. I would say let your imaginations run wild with that info, but there is no way you would come up with what happens. And it will only take a few minutes of your time.  

http://www.refinery29.com/meat-lover-the-most-horrifying-nyc-subletting-story-you-ve-ever-heard

BEST HEADLINE: Coming from Florida of course: Man Dies After Eating Ounce of Coke Out of Brother's Butt

http://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/nationworld/wpix-man-dies-eating-ounce-cocaine,0,6426492.story